Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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