check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
