i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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