I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
