Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
