I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
