i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
