Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
