Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
