hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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