Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
