dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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