I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
