her vagine was all disorganized.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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