The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
