did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I see more hoeing in ur future
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