It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
