My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
