Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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