You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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