Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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