yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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