Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
