Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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