BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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