Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
