Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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