If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
