You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
