Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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