Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
