Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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