I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
