thus making me awesome and them whores
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
