even my farts smell like vagina
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
