Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
