Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just had sex on a roof
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
