my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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