My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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