I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
