Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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