you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
