I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
