9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
