I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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