I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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