That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
