Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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