he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
