she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
they need to just BURY HIM!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
